2026 Trip
unlike Quebec City which is tightly packed and things are always closer than they seem, in Montreal it’s the total opposite. Just a few blocks is forever away. It’s weird.
Fairmount bagel is a joke and only sells bagels themselves. They aren’t great. Maybe if they cut them and put cream cheese or salmon or meat or cheese on them the bagel would taste better, but they don’t. Side of cream cheese, and Philadelphia at that. AND people wait in line!!!! Holy shit scam.
Ma Poule Mouillee is actually quite good but very very heavy. They douse the chicken in sauce, and while it’s good it is sweet. The hot sauce is bangin I would say. Fries too. And watching the rotisseries turn the way they do is rad. They sell tender beautiful chicken, it doesn’t need to be smothered. It is a fast casual joint, but it’s pretty big.
The adult shops on Catherine are a tourist scam. The beautiful pedestrian Mont Royal has one shop that’s more reasonable and not bad.
Au Pied De Cochon seemed much slower this time. Still good but the menu is so heavy and rich with half of it being foie. Even my 100 dollar freshly caught tuna belly had a rich sauce and there was way too much of it, and it was like oddly fat for that giant amount of food, like the biggest tuna belly ever :)
Chez Parée was fine. Nice girl for a hondo.
Serah earlier than that was pretty fantastic. Smoke show.
Old Town Montréal is indeed cool and a walk along St Paul is a must, that being said you have done this pedestrian shopping and dining street a thousand other times. It’s unique cause it’s old, but lots of things are. The Bonsecours Market there is mostly for old people. Pretty lame.
The food tour was fine. It was for old people who haven’t been anywhere. Papusas? Canolis? Ice cream? Come on man. The Jean Talon market served better. The charcuterie tasting was the highlight.
Great take out pizza at pizza bouquet by the way. I never made it to star bar.
L’Express was good. It was fine. I don’t understand the hype. Pretty standard French menu. Very very stark decor. I mean I guess I don’t get it. Food was good. Drank wine.
Le Lune was a little nicer than I expected for a place famous for its roast chicken! Apps, half chicken, whole chicken, and sides. In a pretty elegant atmosphere. It was good. Sister Vin Mon Lapin is more casual but with finer food so funny! But you can’t get a rez there!
I mean I saw one of the craziest things I’ve ever seen in real life at Cinema L’amour. Maybe girls do that in there all the time but holy shit. And. The creepers standing around watching was so weird, and yet I guess that was the point? Crazy.
Stock. Dude. Duuuuddddeeee. You do not like these places. You keep testing yourself and it was NOT YOUR SCENE. Dude. Half a beer. Get it together.
Kingdom was a traditional strip club which I think is a little refreshing compared to the lounginess of Wanda’s and Chez Paree. Sometimes you just want to watch for a bit and not get a pitch.
I went again, and my first post is below, but here:
At the end of the day look, is it a good city, yes, Montreal is good, maybe very good. BUT, and this is a big BUT, it's not New York, it's not Vegas, it's not Miami, and it's definitely not any major international city. You'll love the french, but other than that it's like any other good north american city like Chicago or DC. They push pedestrian only sreets, which is a major plus, but it's major neighborhoods don't feel very cohesive, and it's old town is really just a bunch of bs trinket shops and basic restaurants nowadays. Just tourists. That can be ok if it's a spectacle like Times Square or Trafalgar, but it's not ok when it's European style with none of the character of an actual European tourist center.
St Catherine is the street to stroll. Pedestrian in lots of places. It's especially pedestrian in the gay "Village", which is really just restaurants and bars like anywhere else with a few excessively gay things mixed in...rather than the other way around.
The old town stroll is probably a must but it's forgettable unless it's your first time out of the states.
Plaza St Hubert is also a forgettable promenade. Covered sidewalks which is nice, but it feels so strip mall-y.
The Market Jean Talon was a huge highlight! What's better than giant open air local food and dry goods stalls. Well I'll tell you, that same thing where you can also easily get a drink with your rad food. That would be better. And that's what you get everywhere else, so again, good, maybe very good, but it could be great.
Le Central Food Hall on St Laurent was also a highlight. Cool and loud and fun and great variety. In contrast the Time Out food market is an upscale boring homogeneous food hall. I felt bad for those folks not even being able to differentiate themselves.
Little Italy was really just a neighborhood with Italian stores. It's not really a sight. Which is great for the neighborhood but again not much fun to visit.
I had dinner at Au Pied Du Cochon. This place was perfect and just what the doctor ordered. Spectacular I thought and exactly what a city this size should have plenty of. My companion at the bar was a restaurant dude too so what a perfect conversation compliment to an experience like that. I would not dispute the culinary abilities of Montreal, they do have some great restaurants.
I would not say the same about the bagels, but that's really just a difference of opinion (I had the famous Viatour bagel this time). Montreal bagels are small and oddly shaped and really chewy. They make odd sandwiches as the empty center is way too large, but nobody here seems to mind :)
I went back to Chex Paree and was so underwhelmed.
I went back to Wandas and it was slightly more whelming :)
That Zen place was pretty interesting and a cool thing to see, same goes for Campus if you need to visit a place like that. I found out after all these years that it is definitely not for me, but of course you have to appreciate and respect what is happening there, cause it doesn't happen really anywhere in the world. Truly.
Cinema L'Amour was oh my god classic old school adult stuff. One giant theater with billowing velvet curtains. It was like walking into the 70's. I only stayed for a minute, again not for me, but I am glad that it exists. I did not find any booth stuff (there's a couple left on Mont Royal but my sleeze exploration only goes so far) and I honestly think all of that old school Montreal stuff has closed or has been shut down. You get the feeling that the city no longer wants that side of itself. I mean even the massage places that used to line st catherine (just 5 years ago) and have all of those buskers out on the street directing you to the "best" place, all of that is gone. Now there is this one place that touts "nuru" so the guys line up late night, but the joke is they don't do anything special there. Pretty funny business model actually, probably zero repeat customers.
Crescent street was supposed to be this really hopping bar street, but compared to what? I mean it's fun, but bourbon street it is not.
I do credit Montreal with having tons of outdoor activities, tons of free outdoor music and movies, and just tons of things to do for families.
I have always wanted to go back since visiting in the winter. Now I've done it. I'm not sure it's on the list anymore. Oh, I did see Ryan Reynolds, so there's that, haha.
First time - Montreal is fine. It's nice. I did like it god damn it. I did. I think I did. Ok, I'm pretty sure I liked it.
I think I built up what it was. A bastion of freedom and liberty. And it was, kind of. I don't smoke weed really, but I like places that let you. Ridiculous puritanical ideologies drive me nuts. It's almost always completely hypocritical anyway. So yeah, it's legal, but they make you go to just a handful (only 2 in the entire downtown area) government buildings to get it. I enjoyed it because I like the idea of a whole bunch of natural drugs with experts trained in selling them. I didn't like it because it's not really legal at all. It's certainly not a free commercial activity. Plus, since these places close, you still have dirty drug dealers all over the streets. And I mean all over. It's seems like way too cold of a place for so many homeless people.
Anyway, the same goes for free love. Yes this is a more open society but it still looks and acts surprisingly like any other US city. It all feels rather dirty instead of enlightened or liberated. It kind of made me depressed in a weird way. All of these places should be owned and operated by women, but they aren't, and they would be if the rules were truly in the woman's favor, as it should be. Unions and such could crush, but the government gets in the way. It's freedom light.
Otherwise yes they have great food and drink. The have a really cool old town and they have blah blah blah. Every list of things to do in Montreal starts with Museums and ends with outdoor activities. Both of which were not at all why I went there. It's easy to say it would have been better in the summer. Sure, maybe that is true, but why do I really need to go back at all. I have lived in major cities. I go to major cities all the time. I don't need to go far to experience the same shit I could here.
Notes to self:
-Poutine, just like all the other times I went to Canada, is fries with shit on it. Meh.
-Saint Catherine is where you find a ton of bars, strip clubs, massage places, etc. I would call it the main drag for debauchery, but it's a really nice road with really nice stores as well.
-We went to Chez Paree and Wandas, the 2 most famous strip spots I think. Wandas was probably our favorite late night haunt. Beautiful women and very reasonable drink prices and very reasonable lap dances. They are not shy about you touching them either. Very liberal honestly.
-As you take Catherine towards the village it gets seedier and seedier as you go. I was kind of surprised at how desperate the area seemed to get. Maybe it was just the mood I was in.
-The old town area is on Saint Paul and it's a pretty sweet place to walk around and go to restaurants. You can take Laurent up to Catherine and go through Chinatown from here. Chinatown is where more clothing optional places seemed to start.
-Cleopatra is well known and highly thought of but at the time it was busted. We stayed on the lower level which was maybe our fault but man it seemed unhappy all around. Kingdom was in the chinatown area and when we went it hadn’t even really opened. Even if it had I did not love this area.
Honeyrose - Sep 2026
The HONEYROSE is actually pretty great. Further up the hill than the W, so while the W is for sure better, this one has a better location. They do have a cool enough lobby bar and restaurant. They also have a rad rooftop indoor pool with outdoor sunbathing, plus a decent gym and saunas.
I got a suite and it had no room separation. Great room but that’s an important thing to note. Awesome bathroom.
W Montreal - Jan 2020, Jun 2024
This hotel is nice, as all W's are. It was under construction but not so much that you would notice. The restaurant could use some work but it was fine, as was the main bar. They did have a more speakeasy type bar that was actually pretty cool. The staff was very nice and the location was pretty central. You really aren't going to be near much no matter where you stay (like the closer you get to one thing will take you farther away from something else).
The Wow Suite is pretty wow. It is loft style, which can be great, and can sometimes be a little annoying (which is why I moved after a couple days).
There are 2 bathrooms and 1 of them is in the top 1% of hotel bathroom showers. This thing is baller. Mega baller. It looks over the entire room and you can see everything. I want one for me. I literally couldn’t get enough of it. Where the hell are you Julie.
Also the balcony is killer. Perhaps not January killer, but this thing would rock in the summer. It’s huge.
The room has a great minibar. I thought room service was fine but not stellar.
Worst part is f’ing marriott with no 24 hour or any action on TV. How did I get stuck with Mormons? :)
At the end of the day. I don’t love lofts.
The Fantastic Suite was far more my style (i switched). Huge room separated by a giant spin around TV area. The bathroom was integrated into the room and was also gigantic. This was a pretty perfect spot.
Had a fabulous at the W this second trip. It’s fine but if my girl was here having the bathroom in the room like they do might be annoying. I did like the shower having the direct view to the bed. I might not have made it through many of her showers if she was there :)
The lobby is vastly improved. The bar is hip and cool as you'd expect.
I guess I didn't love either hotel on this trip. My girl says may tastes have changed and maybe she's right.
Humaniti Montreal - Jun 2024
Had the haiku suite here. It was good but the hotel wasn’t as nice as I expected. The room was really big with a huge sitting area, but it was kind of kimpton style. The pool and lounge area was great but very young dj style and the pool was really small. Breakfast was good but the menu only had like 8 things on it. Location was fine, only slightly better than the W. I think it would be better to stay on st Catherine.